Understand
by creativegoddess
Summary: No matter how many times those words were said, they just weren't understood.


**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters portrayed in the work of fiction. They are the property of CLAMP.

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**Understand**

_"I love you."_

How many times had she said those words? The answer: four. One for each year since they were ten. The words weren't understood, of course, but she said them anyway. It was fine if they were only viewed as platonic, a love of sister-friends. As long as the object of her affection was happy, so was she.

**"Nee, let's go do something! It's Sunday so let's have some fun!"**

That bright, cheery smile, those shining eyes, that smooth, beautiful hair – not to mention the fact that she was adorable no matter what she wore – were all reasons why this particular girl had stolen her heart. And she had the best personality ever. She was always optimistic, never saw anyone as being 'bad', her cheerfulness was contagious, and she was so naive at times that it was cute. A smile suited her best and her invincible spell got her through everything. There was no way _not_ to love her, she just captured the hearts of everyone.

If someone asked why she had _first_ started noticing the girl, however, she couldn't say. Ever since that first day in grade three, she had been love struck. Love-at-first-sight, one-sided though it might be. She giggled at the girl's own love trials, her sweet confusion of emotions. Such a lovely girl deserved the love that she had found.

"She'll understand one day," the boy had told her once. The boy that, too, had fallen for the silly girl. The boy whose love was returned.

It had not been long after his arrival back into the quiet town. They had been seated in her room, drinking tea while waiting for the topic of their conversation to finish changing into her latest costume. It was like a mirror image of that time long ago when it had been she giving him advice on the exact same subject.

She had remembered being startled by his words, as there had been no previous mention of the topic at hand. But she had known what he was saying.

"She might," she had replied. "She might not."

"You think it's better if she doesn't? Are you not listening to the words you had told me back then?" This was the boy loved that girl more than anyone else in the world, perhaps even more than herself. Loved her so much that he rarely even said her name, making it all the more special when he did, Making it mean the sane as those words.

_I love you._

She had made no response.

He had taken a sip of tea before saying, "You have amazing powers of observation so you should know this but I'll say it anyway. She's not as clueless as she seems. Yes, some things she doesn't notice but she still sees them. Eventually she will realize your true meaning, even if you don't tell her."

That had struck a chord inside her. Of course, she had already known that, but to hear it spoken from another's lips is was a different matter entirely.

"I know," she had said to him. "But she doesn't have to."

"Even so, she'll understand. One day."

She never did find out how the boy had discovered her feelings. She amounted it to his own observations of the girl. When watching her, it would only be natural to see those close to her as well.

After that conversation with the boy, she began thinking about it more seriously. It wasn't like she hadn't thought of it before. In fact, she was pretty sure of the girl's reaction if –when – she finally knew the truth behind her words. But now she looked at it more carefully, asking the questions brought up in the talk with the boy.

Did she want the girl to know? Yes. Should the girl know? Of course? Was she going to explain?

She couldn't find the right answer to that one, so she picked 'no'. The correct answer might actually be 'yes' but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Some unknown power was holding her back. Perhaps it simply wasn't the right time.

So she continued to silently regard her, being her best friend.

**"Hey, how about the park? We could have a picnic! Just the two of us, alright?"**

She was in love with that girl and took happiness in her happiness. She could never be sad as long as that face was smiling. Her actions could be considered kind and selfless to some but she didn't see them as such.

To her, they were actually rather selfish. In order to keep herself happy, she kept the girl happy. To keep the girl close, she became her best friend. All she wanted was to be around her. She saw that as a rather selfish wish.

Even so, the girl dearly and truly cared for her.

_"I love you too."_

_"But not the same way."_

_"...What do you mean?"_

Yes, someday she'd say those words, the words she'd said once a year since they were ten.

And the girl would understand.

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**A/N:** *evil laugh* The author's note is at the bottom this time, kiddies! Mainly because I felt that if it was at the top, I'd give something away. So this is my first time really writing Tomoyo. I've written her a bit in another fic I'm still working on but that isn't much. I hope I got her character down right. I also really like the relationship between Tomoyo and Syaoran so I wanted to include a bit of that too. I'm actually rather proud of this one so I hope you all enjoy it~!

Notes: The things in italics shows a conversation between Tomoyo and Sakura. The one without quotations marks is just a thought the former has. The things in bold is just Sakura talking to her. There's no context to it really.


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